So what is it that has caused marriage to evolve into an integral part of culture? Mostly, it provides organization within a society. Without the solid frame of civilization provided by families headed by a man and woman joined in marriage, things fall apart. In Ancient Greek and Roman times, marriage was in fact as required for holding positions of power and those who remained bachelors were often looked down upon. Therefore, there’s something in human nature that suggests those who organize families obtain a sense of stability and status. Unfortunately, as time evolved marriage became more of a practicality than an image of romance. As the philosopher Demosthenes explained it: "We have prostitutes for pleasure, concubines for health, and wives to bear us lawful offspring.” Of course this treatment of marriage as second to man’s carnal sex drives is irrevocably wrong, it can’t be ignored that historically this has been the case. Politics and economics become the primary motives for marriage to continue as a cultural practice throughout the ages.
It’s not until religion comes into play that the idea of marriage starts to become romanticized. In ancient Israel, for example, marriage became essential mainly for the reason that God commanded that “thou shalt not commit adultery”. Along with the rise of Christianity in Medieval Europe, this idea of sexual abstinence spread throughout the Western world.
In a modern perspective it’s interesting to note the differences between marriage now and marriage historically. It seems today marriage is more based around the concept of falling in love rather than stability. In fact there seems to be an increasing notion that “all you need is love” and not necessarily to be joined in marriage. Now I strong heartedly disagree with this notion, however it’s interesting to see how marriage has shifted in relative importance.
How do you think that ideas about marriage and customs of marriage are passed from one people to another, from one time to another? And of course, you are opening the door to considerations of dating, courting, and sexual mores in general. When do these ideas get put into song, literature, or other media? How does that change things?
ReplyDeleteWell, I was just reminded of a series of poems I was supposed to read for my English class on love, and I was thinking about the different times they were written, and their take on romantic love, whether in marriage or not. http://www3.amherst.edu/~rjyanco94/literature/elizabethbarrettbrowning/poems/sonnetsfromtheportuguese/howdoilovetheeletmecounttheways.html - Elizabeth Browning wrote this in 1850, and claims that she'll love this person better after death, even. "The Tally Stick," by Jarold Ramsey, was written in 1977 about a husband and wife and the events over the course of their life together - that marriage is many experiences, some of regret, but eventually "we will talk softly as of ordinary matters, and in one another's blameless eyes go blind." What I'm saying is, maybe a lot or the little things of what we know of marriage and love, besides from what we are taught at church and in our families, comes from literature written over the ages, or even modern-day chick-flicks. I think a lot of people, especially teenage girls, unfortunately sometimes including myself, expect dating and courtship to be like what they see in the movies, and are disappointed when it's simple, real life instead - and marriage as a good, valuable, and hard thing instead of a rose-colored, eternal honeymoon.
ReplyDeleteIt's also interesting to see how marriage has shifted so very recently (relative to history) in the direction of accepting gay married couples. What in our current culture allowed for this? Heightened attitude of tolerance? Why do people get so fired up and argue so passionately both for and against gay marriage, even those who are unaffected by it?
ReplyDeleteIt only seems natural that if we're discussing marriage, that we too examine divorce. If marriage is supposed to create stability, then how come the divorce rate in America has climbed to 50%? What in our society has changed to make this drastic increase so common? What differentiates America from other cultures?
ReplyDeleteLike Andrew mentioned, living together has become commonplace, but I would say only very recently. What in our society has triggered this change?
From the perspective of the LDS religion, I would say that this is a sign of the deterioration of the family. Thankfully we have been counseled by our prophets concerning marriage and have The Family: A Proclamation to the World as a guide.
An interesting tid bit I remember from my research on this subject that goes with Summer's post. Divorce rates are high, but statistically its mostly the woman who initiates the divorce. This is ironic because historically the man has always been the one with the most power considering divorce.
ReplyDeleteWoman are more educated nowadays and more independent than before. Could this new independence found by the woman be the reason marriage isn't needed to provide stability anymore? (don't get me wrong, educated women are the best kind)
In my personal opinion, I think the root of divorce is selfishness. While communities and families used to be strong and united, working together for survival, egotism is practically encouraged in today's society. MySpace... iPad... iTunes... MyMSN... The idea that if a commitment, even a legal and spiritual commitment, isn't "working out" for the individual, it can be dropped and shattered as quickly and violently as a glass jar... without a second thought. I agree with Andrew in the fact that women are beginning to realize that they don't "need" their husbands and their families because they are more financially independent now than ever before. However, with role models like Angelina Jolie and Cameron Diaz, women who embody some of the worst traits found in men (egotism, aggression, sexual promiscuity, and violence), combined with all of the anger, bitterness, and hypnotic words of man-hating feminists, the women of the world are being transformed with almost militant speed. With so much emphasis on the workplace (not just with women, but also men), along with individual egotism and self-isolation, it really is unsuprising that divorce rates are rising.
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