Everything I learned about etiquette, I learned from my mother.
My mother is a very prim, gracious woman who introduced the world of Emily Post to her family when I was still quite young. From her, I learned that manners and grace go beyond "please" and "thank you". Being gracious towards others comes from feeling gracious towards others. Being a Southerner and a Texan, such things are vital when interacting with others. But even more than that, as a human being, it is important to be courteous to others.
According to the Emily Post website, "common courtesies" are "the little gestures we perform out of respect for others. They can be as simple as holding open a door or letting someone go ahead in a long line, to something as grand as sharing a homemade meal. Most importantly, they are characterized by a specific awareness of our surroundings and how our behaviors may affect those around us."
Common etiquette practices in the Western world include holding open doors for and helping ladies out of cars. We shake hands when we meet others . We say, "Yes, ma'am," and, "No, sir," to show respect. We revere the elderly.
Though having proper manners is a universal concept, etiquette is interpreted differently in different parts of the world. For example, in Tonga, it's good manners to belch after a meal. It shows the cook that the meal was delicious. However, that would be appallling manners here in the U. S. In Japan, it's considered good manners to take off your shoes before entering a dwelling. In the U. S., that would show great comfort and casualness. In Japan, it would also be considered bad manners to pour your own drink-- you are expected to pour your companion's and they are expected to pour yours. In many European countries, it's considered friendly to kiss those you meet. Here in the U. S., that might be considered downright offensive to some.
Though proper etiquette varies from region to region, it is important to have good manners wherever you go. My mother taught me that good manners signify respect for self and others, culture, and refinement.
I find it interesting how the knowledge of good ettiquete lies in the hands of the parents. They have the responsibility to teach their children how to behave cordially. I can remember clearly the time my parents encouraged me to shake hands with our elders, and how my convinvced that showing chivalry to a girl is the right way to go.
ReplyDeleteSure, at young ages manners may seem ridiculous, but with age comes a deeper respect for those around you.
I think it's interesting how much emphasis we place on etiquette, just on treating each other well and trying to be cautious of others' feelings in such quick relationships, just opening a door for someone else. But when we do do that, it feels so much better when others do it, too. I think it has a lot to do with treating others with charity and having a more Christ-like world, not just a set of customs to make sure you don't insult other people.
ReplyDeleteSources? Media? Try to have a more detailed historical component.
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